Mike was born in 1980, close to the day of the dead. Some would say that shaped his attitude towards the hatred of candy.. Those stupid corn and chocolate would just send him into a frenzy. Wild curly hair flying as he runs and smashes the pumpkins and stealing candy bags and stashing them in the woods until he can go out and dissect those carmel and peanut filled chocolates. He grew up to be a FDA memember and made it his mission to outlaw candy. He has succeeded in informing the public that sugar rots teeth and makes you fat. He teamed up with some scientist and created fake sugar that ants will die if they eat. His next step is outlawing Halloween and Easter.

Mike is married to a woman named Mary who hates Christmas and Valentines. They love long walks on the beach and playing their Night elves fighting evil. Bombarding Blizzard with tickets and hate mail when the Holidays come around as they recieve virtual candy. Kids are in the future plans that will be raise on veggies and meat because even fruit has sugar.